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“Build your planet, keep in line… also clones." Stellar Firma is a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets. However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a l ...
 
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show series
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they step into the shadows of the Garden. This week Cel plans a jog, Zolf has a strong spirit, Hamid keeps an eye on Wilde, and Azu feels compelled to look down and to the side... Content Notes: Ghosts Collective auditory hallucinations (inc. SFX) Past trauma & grief Intrusive telepathy (malevolent) Discuss…
 
Episode 57 - Histrionics and High-Handedness The client, Zeith Fel, is looking for ideas for new productions for The Diabolical Flotilla Actors’ Guild to tour in the upcoming season. She has found that audiences are dwindling for their tours across the galaxy (entirely unconnected to the entirely justifiable destructive actions of Stellar Firma) an…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as the team prepares to enter a strange garden. This week Cel and Azu share stories, Zolf wants trustworthy info, and Hamid has some questions. Content Notes: Past trauma & grief Discussions of: faith & religious observances, death & afterlife, ghosts Mentions of: human remains, burial rites Editing this week …
 
Episode 56 - Proselytising and (some) Progress The client, the Gademy Academy For Scholarly Hollers, is looking for budget and spending advice (ideally yelled) to help with their financial difficulties. Management Consultants’ advice: Not being a weak-necked fool; aggressively loud fonts; traditional organic unassisted yelling; more spartinacity; u…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they share knowledge with the council of the Ursans. This week Zolf is delegated to, Cel isn't an expert on everything (yet), Hamid does some casting, and Azu receives some startling news. Content Notes: Discussion of pandemics & disease Mild innuendo Discussions of mind control and hivemind Mentions: quara…
 
Episode 55 - Defiance and Defection Management Consultancy Review. Line Manager Hartro Piltz to asses initial consultancy efforts, largely from bed for what can only be assumed to be efficiency reasons. Bill for destruction of celebratory sparkling slurry to be applied to Line Manager’s expense account. Content Warning for: Emotional Abuse Bullying…
 
Free Time Man This one's for all the haters who are out there saying that I’ve got, Well, I‘ve not got much on, but you know I'm alright, I’ve got stuff… I'm fine Up in the morning, find a clean shirt, cuppa hot slurry, out to work Maintenance, that's the game I’m playing, mediocrity that's how I'm swayin’ Keepin’ these facilities clean and right, …
 
Survive You I was once a bright young thing, on my way, straight to the top Then suddenly you fell in my way like a drunken, overprivileged roadblock What did I do to deserve this constant stream of ignominy? All I ever wanted to do was serve the Board, faithfully I get blamed for the mistakes you make, they bounce off you and stick to me But it wo…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Ben, and special guest Becky Annison as they fight for the future of the pack! This week Jan does two hugs at once, Stone taps into revenge instincts, Winter is a true friend, and Mr. Smith just straight-up eats a phone. Content Notes: Body transformation (inc. SFX) Dogs/wolves (inc. SFX) Mental deterioration (age-related) &…
 
Not My Fault It’s not my fault, I wasn’t there at the time You can’t prove that I did that crime Leave me be; oh let me be free No, no, wait come back, don't abandon me Everyone needs someone else to blame (ha ha!) That's just a rule of life, this silly game But if you try to point that finger here (well) I’ll hit you in the face, then disappear It…
 
IMOWHEN Boot up, all systems online, send the overnight fatalities to med bay nine Keep the oxygen flowing, all the time knowing, that the readouts are showing things are far from prime Keep it steady and ride, the catastrophe curve, obey the directive, I live to serve Is it living without pleasure, no time to stop for leisure, total commitment for…
 
Glad You're Alive (TREXEL) When I first met you, you were a baby I looked at you and I thought maybe Maybe you're the one who’ll stay alive Perhaps you’ll be the one to survive I’ve been hurt before, I know it’s true But perhaps it will be different with you Look at you so weak and stupid And we both know that the truth is Without me you’d be dead …
 
Little Clone Baby When it’s dark at night, and I close my eyes I can see you there, only one that doesn't hate me I think I dreamed it all, got your drawing on my wall I just feel so calm, held by your arms Why are you so far away in Galactonium? Hey Won’t you Save me Hold me Maybe I just Want to Be your Little Clone Baby Little Clone Baby x3 I jus…
 
Trexel is the Best This one's going out to anyone who’s ever woken up after a three-day binge full of doubt… shame… Yes… When you're feeling kinda down and low Don't know what to do or where to go Physical and emotional pain Paranoia and self-hatred reign Get your stinking body off the floor Drag that worthless carcass to the door Look in to the em…
 
"Welcome to the Cosmic Lounge" Sigmund: Good evening everyone and welcome to Cabaret Night at the Cosmic Lounge; my name is Sigmund Shankeray. So wonderful to see some familiar faces here in the crowd, as well as the usual rabble and dross. Now, I want to assure everyone that certain parties are still banned from the Cosmic Lounge, and our security…
 
Episode 54 - Unions and Unsustainable Ideology The Client, New O'Neal Commercial and Industrial Hyperdynamics and Lotion Innovations, requests assistance with unionisation issues and general employee loyalty issues. Management Consultants' advice: recontextualise definition of terms; unions are stupid; learn to love the boot; unions eat your legs; …
 
Hi everyone, Alex here, I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a happy and safe holiday season and give thanks to all of you who helped us get to where we are this year. Obviously 2020 has been wild ride for everyone and we have all had to adapt and adopt new ways of working and living. Yet despite all these extreme circumstances Rusty Quil…
 
Hi everyone, Alex here, I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a happy and safe holiday season and give thanks to all of you who helped us get to where we are this year. Obviously 2020 has been wild ride for everyone and we have all had to adapt and adopt new ways of working and living. Yet despite all these extreme circumstances Rusty Quil…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Ben, and special guest Becky Annison as the pack discovers a chilling new threat. This week Stone provides deep insights, Jan sniffs into things, Winter has a silver tongue, and Mr. Smith suggests they ought to cover more ground. Content Notes: Body transformation (inc. SFX) Dogs/wolves (inc. SFX) Mental deterioration (age-r…
 
Episode 53 - Mentors and Management Consultancy Consultants successfully recaptured, alert level lowered to alternating blue and green strobes. Paradrak Ngelion assigned for orientation. The client, The Eternal Order of Patriarch Hans, requests fundraising and image improvement advice to help combat the impact of their murderous activities. Managem…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Ben, and special guest Becky Annison as they craft werewolf characters and enter the world of Bite Marks! Prepare for intrigue and adventure alongside charming Mr. Smith, devious Winter, loyal Jan, and mysterious Stone. Content Notes: - Mentions of: manipulation, death, mental deterioration (age-related) Editing this week by…
 
Episode 52 - Games of Spies and Guns of Paper *Caution* Citizen Employee Geistman and Clone David 7 still at large. Intelligence gathered by an undisclosed line manager known only as Plartro Hiltz working with the kind assistance of Fernsworth, Head of Sabotage and Espionage. None shall escape The Board... or would want to... Hail The Board! Conten…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they recuperate and explore their new surroundings. This week Cel receives a hug, Hamid and the kobolds reminisce, Azu goes for a walk, and Zolf talks things over with Wilde. Content Note: - Mild innuendo - Mentions of: dissociation, grief/loss, death/afterlife, food - SFX: , high-pitched noises; metal clan…
 
Hey everyone! Mike here, Rusty Quill’s video guy and I’m pleased to announce that Rusty Quill’s Gaming and Giving will be back this year and we’re going digital! Come join in as we go live at 11am GMT on the 12th December on Twitch.tv with 24 hours of videogames, board games and general fun and frolics. Yes, that’s right, I said 24 hours. We’ve mad…
 
Hey everyone! Mike here, Rusty Quill’s video guy and I’m pleased to announce that Rusty Quill’s Gaming and Giving will be back this year and we’re going digital! Come join in as we go live at 11am GMT on the 12th December on Twitch.tv with 24 hours of videogames, board games and general fun and frolics. Yes, that’s right, I said 24 hours. We’ve mad…
 
Episode 51 - Cafés and Camouflage *Caution* Citizen Employee Geistman and Clone David 7 still at large. Fugitives should not be approached... or seen... no-one would want to escape the love of the board... please disregard the words “at Large” and “Fugitives” in this notification. If any employee notsees the notfugitives please inform your nearest …
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they return to the physical world. This week Zolf worries, Cel offers their coat, Azu is a bit emotional, and Hamid gets brought up to speed. Content Notes: - Comedic violence - Mild bullying/taunting - Burial rites / Cremation - Mention of: dissociation - Discussion of: death, expressions of grief and loss…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they speak to some departed friends. This week Cel finds a puzzle, Azu is offered a hiding spot, Hamid feels a chill, and Zolf finds what he's looking for. Content Notes: - Mentions of: alcohol, childhood trauma, mind-altering substances - Discussion of: death, implied suicidal ideation Thanks to this week'…
 
Little Clone Baby (Stellar Firma album preview) *Caution* Board sanctioned mandatory fun inbound. Confidential preview. Cosmic Lounge employee cabaret night. Unauthorised distribution of content will result in DMCA (Deadly Metal Claw Attack) takedown. __________________________ Lyrics When it’s dark at night and I close my eyes, I can see you there…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they journey to the home of the Ursans. This week Hamid stays outside, Zolf takes the wheel, Cel volunteers, and Azu notices a city! Content Notes: - Mild references to mind-altering substances Thanks to this week's Patrons: Vigdís Heiðbrá Guðmundsdóttir, Rachael, SomeVariationOfGay, KJ, Grayson Genter, Kae…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they encounter a stranger with an offer. This week Zolf chooses a different method of transport, Hamid tries to make sense of things, Azu receives a visitor, and Cel witnesses something they've always hoped they would. Thanks to this week's Patrons: V Guest, Fiona Porter, Archimedes 871, Annabelle M, CJ, Co…
 
Join Helen, Ben, Lydia, Tim and Imogen for the conclusion of their spooky adventure in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates! This week Countess Underscore over-varnishes, Bathin breaks up a standoff, Spinglewald glares, and Erogenous asks about beef. Content Notes: - Sexual references - Spiders - Mild body horror - Gun violence (inc SFX) - Blood …
 
Join Helen, Ben, Lydia, Tim and Imogen for the conclusion of their spooky adventure in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates! This week Countess Underscore over-varnishes, Bathin breaks up a standoff, Spinglewald glares, and Erogenous asks about beef. Content Notes: - Sexual references - Spiders - Mild body horror - Gun violence (inc SFX) - Blood …
 
RQG/STL Halloween Crossover Special 2020 - Part 2 Join Helen, Ben, Lydia, Tim and Imogen as they explore a haunted space station in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates. This week Erogenous shoots a ceiling robot, the Countess finds a window, Bathin conquers a strange pyramid, and Spinglewald strikes a pose. Content Notes: - Sexual references - S…
 
Join Helen, Ben, Lydia, Tim and Imogen as they explore a haunted space station in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates. This week Erogenous shoots a ceiling robot, the Countess finds a window, Bathin conquers a strange pyramid, and Spinglewald strikes a pose. Content Notes: - Sexual references - Spiders - Mild body horror - Gun violence (inc SFX)…
 
RQG/STL Halloween Crossover Special 2020 - Part 1 Join Helen, Ben, Lydia and special guests Tim Meredith and Imogen Harris as they band together to survive a haunting adventure in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates. This week we meet an eclectic and extensive cast of characters including Spinglewald Tasethorp, Erogenous Rakewell, Countess Under…
 
Join Helen, Ben, Lydia and special guests Tim Meredith and Imogen Harris as they band together to survive a haunting adventure in Grant Howitt's Beautiful Space Pirates. This week we meet an eclectic and extensive cast of characters including Spinglewald Tasethorp, Erogenous Rakewell, Countess Underscore Starcluster and a familiar Stellar Firma cha…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as the Vengeance touches down. This week Hamid digs, Azu searches, Zolf keeps busy, and Cel finds a way. NOTE: This is a heavy episode, but we strongly urge listening to the episode fully as the ending is very important to the context. Content Notes: Falling Aircraft failure (inc SFX) Graphic injury Character …
 
Tim chats with editor Maddy Searle and producer Katie Seaton about making Stellar Firma. Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Nick Vega, Tyler Dzuba, Pendragon, Becky Gregory, Rachel Meresman, Melissa, Connor Ferry, Wednesday, Briar and Brine, Oya, Omnia, Wonderwomeme, Sasha Radula S., Cinthya J, Isy, William Hess, Megan Lim, Maggie Hoffman, MizF…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia, and Ben as they plunge once more into Wild Magic. This week Cel checks the engine, Hamid dives, Azu keeps an eye out, and Zolf finds some cheerful party decorations! Content Notes: - Dysmorphia / Dysphoria - Mind / Body swapping Thanks to this week's Patrons: demoneyes nightkiller, Gray Dodgen, Jessica Rowden, Kathari…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they prepare to re-enter the aurora. This week Hamid learns to sound authoritative, Azu wards off trouble, and Zolf and Cel have a heart-to-heart. Content Notes: - Mind / Body swapping - Dysmorphia / Dysphoria Thanks to this week's Patrons: Michael Sebba, Ally Miller, Ben Milne, Quill, Mari Long, Angela Walt…
 
Stellar Firma Season 2 Outtakes (Part 2) Gosh darns and fiddlesticks CLIENT - They can’t all be winners Consultant recommendation: I’ll be in my trailer... also, can someone please buy me a trailer. Content warnings: Overtly sexual noises References to medical conditions and procedures. This edition contains repeated loud beeps. Special thanks to t…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they take a break from all the chaos to experience Wilde's latest project. This week Hamid designs a red carpet outfit, Zolf looks for a sponge, Cel outlines some scientific plans, and Azu becomes a bowling ball of death. Content Notes: - Body / Mind swapping - Dysmorphia / Dysphoria - Disorientation - Innue…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they adjust to their new normal aboard the Vengeance. This week Hamid has a moment of clarity, Azu feels tall again, Cel keeps an eye on Carter, and Zolf has a discussion with the captain. Content Notes: - Mind/body swapping - Dysmorphia/dysphoria - Disorientation - Innuendo - Self-loathing - Comedic violenc…
 
By exclusive (court-)appointment, Trexel Geistman, designer extraordinaire, is here to help you, whether he wants to or not! Praise the Board in their infinite wisdom! Content Warning for: Second-person delivery Comedic threats of violence Emotional abuse Existential dread Rodents Mentions: substance abuse, body-swapping, isolation, derealization /…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they come to terms with their new situation. This week Hamid doesn't know his own strength, Zolf needs to meditate, Azu practices the art of stillness, and Cel offers Wilde some lessons. Content Notes: - Dysmorphia / dysphoria - Mind / body swapping - Disorientation Thanks to this week's Patrons: Pioup Pioup…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they make some progress and take a nice nap. This week Zolf wrestles an airship, Cel makes some friends, Hamid gives an extra-strong hug, and Azu has a new perspective on things. Content Notes: - Dysmorphia / Dysphoria Thanks to this week's Patrons: Lily Magee, Bruna Thomas, muzbutch, Bridget Smith, Kayla Yo…
 
After one too many Build 'issues', Enola sets out her vision for the Geistman-free future of Stellar Firma Ltd. Praise the Board... Special thanks to this week's Patrons: Shona Hunter, koechelt, Goon Squad, Em 'Trans Rights' Kavanagh, thefarunlitunknown, Yolanda George, Lady C., James Brown, Savannah Whiteford, Casper Wright, Skye Martucci, Chris K…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they weather a peculiar storm. This week Azu makes an unspoken pinky swear, Cel tries to improve things, Zolf experiences some drift, and Hamid suggests a way to pass the time. Content Notes: - Anxiety/Panic Attack Thanks to this week's Patrons: Chris Pawlus, Hope Landers, Natasha Lamont, Brad Bradley, Linds…
 
Join Alex, Helen, Bryn, Lydia and Ben as they and the crew face a difficult decision. This week Zolf proposes a vote, Hamid talks magic, Cel might have a solution, and Azu... "takes a break." Thanks to this week's Patrons: NicoleK, Micheala Poppell, Rebecca Rutherford, Mira Morning, freesnakepoems, Lind Berget, Erica Eagles, Max, Lucy Jansen, Ray M…
 
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