In which we discuss how hard it is to tell Time and how it’s YOUR FAULT, Humans. DISCLAIMER: Yes the moon spins on its axis For reference in case you gotta question. GET YOUR MERCH HERE! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on April 6th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Ap…

In which I discuss one of the longest running construction project in the world maybe finally possibly perhaps fingies crossed being completed finally… soon. Stay tuned. For reference: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/mar/25/sagrada-familia-barcelona-completed-2026-stairway NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE…

In which i tell the age-old story of the guy who brought a duck into Buc-ee’s. You know how it goes. For reference: https://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/local/2024/03/18/tennessee-buc-ees-goes-viral-for-banning-service-duck-wrinkle/73015434007/ NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lou…

In which the Queen Consort has gone missing and I catch a contact drunk from St. Patty’s Day in Chicago. Pinkies up! NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on March 16th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Com…

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING WAS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE AND HIGH AF AUDIENCE - Also I was shmazzed from the contact shmoink and couldn't pronounciate so here's some addendums: San Rafael - San ruh-FELL Mt Tamalpais - Mt Tam-al-PIE-us Bolinas - Bo-LEE-nus My speech from THE SMOKE SHOW 4:20pm March 3rd 2024 from Blue Island Beer Co. If you're wonderin…

In which I take my team deep into Willy’s Chocolate Experience. For reference: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/creator-failed-willy-wonka-immersive-event-speaks-out-1235845791/ NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on March 2nd 2024 for The Paper Machete. Re…

In which I review Madame Web. Get your tix to the Smoke Show March 3rd in Blue Island IL NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on February 17th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your fav…

In which we discuss the current state of your fastest of foods. For reference: https://qz.com/ozempic-wegovy-weight-loss-drugs-novo-nordisk-food-1851238272 Get your tix to the Smoke Show March 3rd in Blue Island IL NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on February 17th 2024 for…

In my most podcast Birdcast, I talk to comedian/writer/bestie Adam Burke (Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me) about stuff, things and his new album WEAPONIZED EMPATHY available right now! Go get it! Do it! Recorded 02/22/24 at Space Time Sounds in Chicago. Courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite pl…

In which we honor the great Richard Plaud: The Matchstick Man. Get your tix to the Smoke Show March 3rd in Blue Island IL NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch For reference: https://www.npr.org/2024/02/09/1230090601/guinness-world-record-eiffel-tower-matchsticks Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on February 10…

In which we discuss the merchandise paradise that is promotional tie-ins and how ya mighta jumped the worm lately, Humans. For reference: https://www.gamespot.com/articles/dune-2-stars-react-to-movies-viral-popcorn-bucket-its-not-okay/1100-6520872/ NEW MERCH ALERCH: https://www.chadthebird.com/the-merch Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mil…

In which we get hyped about the upcoming cicada orgy! Best way to learn is to get involved, humans! Dive in! For reference: https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/26/us/cicadas-emergence-broods-xix-xiii-scn/index.html Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on January 27th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The O…

WARNING: Contains Chicago Stuff - Those from outta state just deal with it. For rat-ference: https://abc7chicago.com/chicago-rat-hole-wedding-marriage-tiktok/14359914/ Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on January 26th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come f…

In which we take a moment to chew on the memory of Fruit Stripe gum. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on January 13th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring the unstoppable Bill Larkin on k…

And we're back. For reference: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/... If you wanna know more about how the Tetris Kill Screen works, aGameScout does a DOPE breakdown: a great breakdown. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on January 6th 2024 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the…

Well we’re finally here. We made it to the end of 2023 and just when you thought we could relax, get some closure and roll out to credits rocked with the plot thus far: It goes and jumps the shark again. For reference: https://apnews.com/article/alex-jones-x-account-elon-musk-90cfc990631dec5e8f337167fbe16372 Come play DnD with me in the new year at…

Tis the season and cuz you’ve been good to me all year, here’s a holly jolliday present from me to you: Bonus content! Come play DnD with me in the new year at Newport Theatre for RPG-13 January 5th 2024! Recorded LIVE on December 14th 2023 for The Paper Machete Holiday Pageant at Carol’s Pub. Recording courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Dr…

In which we eulogize the great Norman Lear. Please be seated. For reference: https://theconversation.com/good-times-50-years-ago-norman-lear-changed-tv-with-a-show-about-a-working-class-black-familys-struggles-and-joys-219567 Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on December 9th 2023 for The Paper Machete. Recording courtesy of Jepp…

In which we celebrate responsibly lest we give a little too much this time of year. For reference: https://www.unilad.com/news/food-and-drink/taco-bell-christmas-party-lawsuit-employee-580023-20231123 Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on Dec 2nd 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find m…

In which we go all-in and HAM on stamps! Hold on tight cuz we’re divin deep! For reference: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/nov/14/inverted-jenny-stamp-sold-auction-new-york Come see me “& Laura’s Holiday Special” LIVE for one night only DEC 7th at Newport Theatre in Chicago! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on Novembe…

In which we discuss one “Charles Entertainment Cheese”, survivor of the Pizza Wars. For reference: https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/chuck-e-cheese-says-its-getting-rid-its-animatronic-bands-except-1-location/J3UQUBHUFRBHNIZFWIKYXHM6VE/ Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on November 18th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The O…

In which I figure out irony courtesy of a gold toilet. Only in America! For reference: https://apnews.com/article/blenheim-palace-golden-toilet-theft-f0cd428df82be5343a799479a168f4be Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on November 11th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all you…

In which we herald the Crispy Time and sacrifice many carbs to ensure a good harvest! For reference: https://www.foodandwine.com/digiorno-launches-a-limited-edition-thanksgiving-pizza-8385608 Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on November 4th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in…

In which we skelebrate the screamson with some medicinal horror movies. Shout out to SCREAM: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear by Margee Kerr! Follow me on Letterboxd and watch 23 horror movies before Halloween with me! I’m so behind: https://linktr.ee/chadthebird Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on October 28th 2023 c…

In which we go monster huntin’! For reference: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/colorado-new-bigfoot-sighting-train-b2432228.html and https://nypost.com/2023/09/01/loch-ness-monster-was-photographed-for-second-time-in-less-than-week/ Follow me on Letterboxd and watch 23 horror movies before Halloween with me! I’m so behind: https:/…

In which we don’t panic! THING TO DO: Oct 19th 8pm CDT - LIVE from Logan Arcade right here on the Chad Tubes: https://www.youtube.com/chadthebird Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on October 7th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord!…

In which I present my jizzertation on how a beloved intergalactic music style may be getting renamed and retconned. BREAKING NEWS!!!! https://screenrant.com/star-wars-jizz-music-retcon/ Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on September 30th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all…

In which we learn that ALL THINGS SERVE THE SPHERE! For reference: https://www.billboard.com/pro/las-vegas-sphere-technology-how-it-works-concerts/ Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on September 23rd 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Dis…

Send your donations to: https://www.tusctogether.com/ Email your receipt (or screenshot) to: thebirdchad@gmail.com For every $69 - I'll email you a personal thank you For every $420 - I'll send you a sea shanty about you If we collectively raise $10,000 we'll put on a show in Chicago and livestream it to all who donated. All proceeds go to The Unio…

In which I give ye a sailor’s warning before ye take to the skies! Yarvast and hark! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on September 9th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. For reference: https://www.popularmechanics.com/flight/airlines/a45038480/delta-diarrhea-plane-what-happened/ Come find m…

In which we gather in margaritamoriam of Jimmy Buffett. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on August 19th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ros…

In which: I, a delegate from the Animal Kingdom read a complaint letter from the rest of your Earthmates and then go off on air travel. IOWA CITY AUG 25th and 26th TIX HERE: https://linktr.ee/chadthebird Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on August 19th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come…

In which we go hard into some hot takes and nude opinions. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on August 12th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of …

In which I do what I can to memorialize one of the best. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on August 5th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of the Apocalypse. Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ros…

In which we get into the recent Florida phenomenon of Cocaine Sharks. Which is something NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE SAYING! I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it and then at Alma’s Cider and Beer on July 30th so get in here! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on July 22nd 2023 courtesy of Je…

In which we memorialize the great Anchor Brewing who hath left us with only limited supplies of Christmas Ale and to wander alone. WALK ON, MORTALS!! Featuring the great Bill Larkin on the epic keys and vocals. I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it and then at Alma’s Cider and Beer on July 30th so get in …

In which we herald the return of the Eat-ples Champion: Joey “Jaw” Chestnut who won the Annual 4th of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest and defended the Mustard Belt for the 16th time! On your knees, mortals! I’ll be LIVE at The Veranda at Thorton Park in Orlando FL July 20th! I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast …

Happy Birthday, America! I’m out of the office (so don’t email me) but I couldn’t let another AmeriBirthday Backyard Grillums get away without my signature flavor of “Well Actually” Sauce to squeezefart on the meats. Here’s a Chad Classic from the 4th of July 2017 about America, it’s histories and fallacies, things you mostly get wrong about her an…

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions and you can take a bus! The 666 bus to Hel Poland has undergone an unfortunate change and I’m on the case! I’m opening for the Write Club: Royal Ramble in Chicago July 11th! If ya can’t make it, why not donate a bit?! I’ll be LIVE at The Veranda at Thorton Park in Orlando FL July 20th! I’ll be LIVE at …

In which Pat Sajak announced his retirement and I wrote a western about it (WHIP SOUND), ma’am. I’ll be LIVE at The Veranda at Thorton Park in Orlando FL July 20th! I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on June 17th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: …

In which I discuss the UFO, UAP and David Grusch phenomena! Phenomenon? Either way, do do doo doodoo. I’ll be LIVE at The Veranda at Thorton Park in Orlando FL July 20th! I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on June 10th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Ma…

In which I offer my graduation speech and yeah I was a lil shwasted but I commenceMENT everything I said. Read the great Mary Schmich and here’s the piece I mention. I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on June 3rd 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: …

Sorry to bum the room out but when they ask you to do a eulogy for Tina Turner, you do it and you do your best. Here's to a legend in our time. Here's the full mix CD on Spotify, should you want to listen and you should. I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill…

In which we snack on the latest food news and the upcoming Taco Wars. Oh did you not know about the Taco Wars? Well now you do! Also, for those of you that don’t know about the majesty that is Taco Johns… just click this link. Welcome. I’ll be LIVE at Kulak’s Woodshed July 29th and tickets are goin fast so get on it! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Hist…

In which I get into the pastable Italian noddle crisis and whether we should care or spaghettabout it! For reference: https://www.npr.org/2023/05/18/1176714159/italy-pasta-crisis-us-food-costs I’m on Cameo so you can send anyone the greatest gift of all: Me! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on May 13th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’…

In which I get to interview the cast of Hitch*Cocktails LIVE on the Chad Tubes! This is the audio of the show so if you wanna see the raw and uncut version, go to the Tubes if you dare! MURDER! MYSTERY! SNAKE GUNS! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HITCH*COCKTAILS! Go see them May 19th and 20th at the Annoyance in Chicago! Recorded LIVE on the Chad Tubes May 7th 2…

In which I offer my Coronation Speech for the brand new king of England: The Unknown Person Who Totally Mowed a Dong on the Lawn at Royal Crescent in Bath. HAIL! I’m on Cameo so you can send anyone the greatest gift of all: Me! Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge on May 6th 2023 courtesy of Jeppson’s Malört: The Official Drink of …

Happiest most blessed Danksgiving to you and yours from me. Recorded LIVE at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge 04/15/23 For reference: https://www.today.com/popculture/woody-harrelson-says-possible-matthew-mcconaughey-brother-rcna80396 Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a …

Here’s my True Crime podcast about the Great Arizona Dairy Queen Spoon Heist. It’s got the scoop and more puns! Recorded live at the Historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge on 4/8/23 April 19th - 7pm CDT Come find me at Fry Like an Eagle 2420 W Fullerton Ave in Chicago April 20th - 8pm Goin LIVE from Logan Arcade so come on over or join me on the Chad …

In which I fry up some saucy Science meats for your brain mouth. Also Brain Mouth, new band, called it. Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge in Chicago 04/01/23 (NO FOOLIN!) Come find me in all your favorite places including my Discord! Featuring “Promises” by the Barrerracudas and a snippy of “The Wasteland” courtesy of Ross Bu…