What Fresh Hell Laughing In The Face Of Motherhood 公開
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Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson, “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast about the never-ending "fresh hells" of parenting. Amy and Margaret are each moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent– but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet she didn't like. We offer three episodes each week: "Question of the Week" mini-episodes on Mondays regular weekly episodes ...
 
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"Solo parenting" isn't the same as single parenting– but when we're in it, it can sure feel pretty intense. Even if our partners are great at pulling their own weight, sooner or later most of us end up in a solo parenting season. Our listener Michelle emailed us to say: Can we talk about what parenting looks like when it feels almost single-handed?…
 
Childhood is not a competition, but it can feel that way when talk in our mom circles focuses too much on what our kids are achieving. It's fine to be proud of our kids' accomplishments, but if you've ever wondered whether you're oversharing your kids' milestones, you might identify with this week's question, from our Facebook Page: My toddler has …
 
Shannon Carpenter has been a stay-at-home dad since 2008, and that on-the-job experience– plus his humor-writing background– makes him the perfect author to have written his new book: THE ULTIMATE STAY-AT-HOME DAD: Your Essential Manual for Being an Awesome Full-Time Father. Shannon's book is a manual on day-to-day parenting filled with direct and …
 
Becoming a mother changes everything about us. Literally: the very structure of our brain changes during pregnancy, along with our eyeglass description and our shoe size. That most of us become more hypervigilant and more anxious isn't a personal failing– it's a biological imperative. But while the ways motherhood has changed us may be very natural…
 
Do you have friends and loved ones who complete their holiday shopping by October 15 and make you stressed that you haven't even started? You might identify with this week's question: I feel like you're a voice of reason so I was wondering if you could answer a simple question for me: should I be buying my kids’ Christmas gifts right now? My mother…
 
Kate Bowler is an associate professor at Duke's Divinity School. She lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her husband and son. Her new book is No Cure For Being Human (And Other Truths I Need To Hear). At the age of 35, Kate was blindsided by a Stage Four cancer diagnosis. It forced her to make peace with her limitations in a culture that would ra…
 
This week we're talking about all the little things that trip us up, confuse us daily, and that we will never, no matter how much we try, get right. Will we ever ask for directions and then listen to the answer? Will we ever remember which side is the bread plate and which side is the water glass? Will we ever mail the birthday card BEFORE the birt…
 
All kids interrupt, but for some kids it can become a problem behavior. Some kids struggle to control their impulses, and that can make it difficult for them to wait their turn to speak. This week a listener asks: My almost 6-year-old is constantly interrupting us when we are talking to him. Even when we are answering a question that he has asked u…
 
Whitnee Hawthorne is a speaker, an author, and a Fortune 500 executive. She's also a mom of two young children. As the host of the Savvy Working Moms podcast, Whitnee supports and encouraging working moms to become the women they want to be. In this episode, we discuss why "working dad" isn't a term why working moms are still "the mom," even with s…
 
Getting kids to cooperate is a challenge at all ages and stages. Here’s how to know when little kids are old enough to kick in, how "connecting before directing" works for older kids, and whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask. How do we get kids to cooperate? Our listener Alison asked: I would love some insight into engaging …
 
Got a toy dumper? The way to engage little kids in household cooperativeness is to make it an outgrowth of spending time with you. Hear more in our "Getting Kids To Cooperate" episode, launching on Wednesday 9/28/21. This week's question comes from Lindsay via Instagram: I have a two-year-old who used to love helping me pick up his toys. The mess n…
 
Want to read the transcript for this episode? Find it here on our website. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD is a psychiatrist and author specializing in women's mental health. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and the founder of Gemma, the first digital education platform dedicated exclusively to women’s mental health. Dr. Lakshmin is most …
 
Almost one hundred years ago, the writer Virginia Woolf famously declared that a woman needed "a room of her own" in order to do important work– and that the lack (at that time) of a long history of important work by women could be attributed to the historical lack of that space, both physical and mental. 18 months into a pandemic, with classrooms …
 
Couples disagree on a lot of things, but disagreements about parenting can cause problems in our marriages, and can make raising kids even more challenging than it already is. Amy says that when she and her spouse disagree about how to handle a parenting moment, they try to return to the motto "Same Team." Being fellow team members is a good way to…
 
Dr. Danielle Dick is an internationally recognized expert on genetic and environmental influences on human behavior. Her new book is THE CHILD CODE: Understanding Your Child's Unique Nature for Happier, More Effective Parenting, which offers a science-based approach to parenting centered on a child’s unique genetic “code." In this Fresh Take interv…
 
What's your "wow, that was so me” story? What is something you did as a kid that exemplifies exactly who you are now? Amy was taking charge at grownup parties as a six-year-old. Margaret was getting her comedy censored in grade school. Neither of these things, in retrospect, seem 1% surprising. In this episode, we discuss some of our listeners' hil…
 
There's a fine line between tired and overtired, and sometimes the right bedtime exit becomes clear only once you've blown right past it. A member of our Facebook group asked: How do I tell the difference between overtired and just plain not tired? In other words, is my toddler not settling to sleep because I’m putting him down too early or too lat…
 
Kate Anthony is the host of the critically acclaimed and New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and the creator of the online coaching program Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community supp…
 
Have we utterly lost the script when it comes to kids' birthday parties? Or are the backyard tents and petting zoos and themed catering lots of fun, and that's all that matters? Is there anything to be gained by simplifying the expectations, the gift-giving, and the goodie bags? In this episode we tease out what feels important about our kids' birt…
 
As parents, the thing we want most is for our children to be happy. When we see one of our kids spending a lot of time alone, and struggling with friendship,s it's natural to worry. But it's also important to resist the urge to swoop in and attempt to solve those problems. If a child seems depressed or extremely isolated, it is time to involve a th…
 
It's a "Best Of" episode– and one of our all-time funniest. We asked our listeners to tell us their spouse/partner's most unacceptable- and also extremely minor- infractions. We got 356 responses. Whether it’s turning off the AC because of a nonexistent "cross breeze," creating a Sock Mountain, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, these husb…
 
Are you a rule breaker or a rule follower? Are you married to your opposite? We're both rule followers, and when one builds a life with someone who sees the "NO DOGS IN THE LAKE" sign as an invitation to let the golden retriever go for a swim, one is caught between two bad choices: swallow the horrible anxiety that others might think *you* are the …
 
Sometimes it seems like our kids are actually out to make our relationships with them worse. This week's question comes from our Facebook group: I think my 9-year-old is "soiling the nest." Is it normal at his age to try to get me to hate him? "Soiling the nest" is a term psychologists usually apply to kids about to leave home for college. Rather t…
 
Christina Hillsberg is a former spy who worked at the CIA for more than twenty years before transitioning to the private sector. Her new book is LICENSE TO PARENT: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids, which provides both an inside look into one of the world’s most clandestine organizations, and a practical guide…
 
Some people say parents should never lie to their kids. We are not those people. We asked our listeners to tell us all the lies that totally worked for their kids– or worked on them when they were kids. Whether it's the ice cream truck's jingle indicating they're fresh out, the goldfish who was "just sleeping," or the unfortunate catastrophic fire …
 
When school drop-off is tough it can ruin the whole day. The feeling of walking away and leaving a sobbing kiddo at pre-school is just plain awful, but the reality is that most kids are happily playing 15 minutes later. This week a listener asks: Any tips for preschool drop off when kiddo gets shy/nervous and then refuses to go in? Our little one o…
 
“Use your head.” That’s what we tell ourselves when facing a tricky problem or a difficult project. But a growing body of research indicates that we’ve got it exactly backwards. What we need to do, says acclaimed science writer Annie Murphy Paul, is think outside the brain. In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss how we can use "extra-neural" res…
 
Does competition have benefits? What level of competition is healthy for our kids? Many of us agree that the stereotypical dad yelling through the fence at T-Ball is taking things a little too seriously. But others say that participation trophies teach our kids to be lazy and therefore represent the ultimate downfall of our civilization. How do we …
 
It can really get under our skin when other adults– whether relatives or strangers– tell our kids to stop splashing, or sit still, or any other directive we might or may not agree with. But when should we go full Mama Bear, and when should we let it slide? Pamela recently wrote us (and so can you! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com): I'd love to he…
 
Ashley Brown is the founder and owner of Routine and Things, a product-based business equipping women to consistently live their happiest lives, one routine at a time. She also hosts the Routine and Things Podcast, a space to learn and become inspired on all things routine. Ashley strongly believes routines are a form of wellness and a pathway to a…
 
As the *third* school year affected by the pandemic begins (or approaches, depending on where you live), many of us are overcome with frustration. We thought this would be over by now. And yes, this pandemic has Lucy-with-the-football'ed us before. But in our Charlie Brown-like innocence, we really, really believed the pandemic was leaving for good…
 
Birthday parties are terrific but gifts can be a drag. Buying gifts for kids' parties can be an expensive hassle, and your kid receiving gifts can mean more plastic stuff she doesn't need or even really want. But is it possible to say "no gifts" for your kid's birthday? This week's question comes from Facebook, where Katie asks: What are your thoug…
 
Amanda Knox is an exoneree, journalist, public speaker, and author of the New York Times best-selling memoir Waiting to Be Heard. Between 2007 and 2015, she spent nearly four years in an Italian prison and eight years on trial for a murder she didn’t commit. Since then, Amanda has written extensively about criminal justice reform. With her husband …
 
When a parent first hears about highly sensitive kids– or their opposite, sensory seekers– it can provide a profound moment of recognition, of connecting the dots for things about our kids that up until now have baffled us. We think understanding these sensory tendencies can help us parent our kids more effectively and compassionately. Not every ki…
 
This week's question came from Instagram: What do you do when another parent wants to set up a playdate with your kid, but you know your kid doesn't want to play with them? Nothing harmful in the past- just kids who knew each other but don't have anything in common anymore. It seems rude to say my kid doesn't want to, but... my kid doesn't want to.…
 
Lenore Skenazy is the author of Free-range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow, the hugely influential parenting bestseller with a newly released second edition. The free-range movement really got started 12 years ago after Lenore's newspaper column “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” created a media firestorm. Now Le…
 
Why are some things hard for us but not our partners or our friends? Do we make things harder than they need to be? Or are some things, like picking up the phone and talking to a stranger to order pizza, just stupidly difficult for everyone? We asked our listeners: What seems harder to you than it needs to be? What's something you struggle with tha…
 
Our kids may be adorable and fresh-smelling when they are little, but somewhere along the way (thanks puberty!) they transform into oily stink-monsters. Once our kids reach a certain age, keeping up with our kids' hygiene feels like it shouldn't be a parent's job. But if we give up all oversight, some kids might walk around with bad teeth and frigh…
 
Nikki Weiner is the founder of Building Bold, and has served as a guest speaker in the U.S. and abroad on writing and the college admissions landscape. Nikki’s ultimate goal is to provide students with the tools to thrive through the admission process and beyond to reach their full potential. She tells Amy what's changed in the college admissions l…
 
The news is hard for anyone to escape these days– and that includes our kids. Even the littlest ones might see a stray notification on a parent's phone, or overhear something scary from a television that was left on. A lot of us struggle with what to tell our kids, how much, and when. But if we don't give the kids any context, some older kid in the…
 
All kids lose stuff sometimes. Some kids lose stuff all the time. Sometimes it's ADHD or general inattention. Sometimes it's just a slower development of executive function. No matter what, it's frustrating (and expensive). What's a parent to do? A member of our Facebook group asked: Any suggestions for the kid who loses everything? My son is 9. He…
 
Heidi Murkoff is a mother, a grandmother, and the author of the legendary What to Expect When You’re Expecting, with more than 19 million copies in print. Heidi is also the creator of the What to Expect Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping all moms expect healthy pregnancies, safe deliveries, and healthy babies. In this interview …
 
Youth is wasted on the young. We wasted our youth taking the wrong classes in college and layering imaginary agendas onto other people's dopey behavior. Sound familiar? We asked our listeners: If you could time travel, what advice would you give your younger self? Here's the best advice we all learned from doing things the wrong way! Special thanks…
 
One of the most important lessons from the pandemic may be "It is OK for kids to be bored". A lot of parents fear boredom because of the whining and complaining that comes along with it - but in this episode Margaret argues that one thing we learned from all of our downtime during the pandemic is that there IS something on the other side of boredom…
 
Olivia Martinez-Hauge is a marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of families, couples, and individuals who are caregiving for children or adults with neurodiversity. She is also a licensed occupational therapist with over two decades of experience helping children and their families. She is also a mother of three children, two…
 
Time for some easy wins! Here of some of our (and our listeners') favorite hacks for naptime diapers laundry kitchen sibling squabbles and General Sanity Preservation. This stuff really works! Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Cozi Family Organizer is for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and may…
 
When we have a child who chooses to withdraw and "not talk about it," rather than unpack his disappointment, is that a reason for concern? This week's question comes from Facebook: When my seven year old gets upset, he refuses to talk to us even to describe the event that led to his reaction. He seems to prefer to process things internally. And so …
 
It's a "Best Of" episode that launched a movement: What Kind Of Monster? Or #WKOM, as the Fresh Hellions in our Facebook group call it. Our highest calling here at What Fresh Hell is to serve as a safe space for our listeners to tell us what really, truly drives them up the wall. What kind of monster listens to videos on speaker? Keeps the keyboard…
 
We see birth order play out pretty clearly, both in our own families and in our families of origin. But is it a bad thing? Is it a thing to fight back against? Is there a way to make the older child less stressed, and the baby maybe a little *more* motivated? And is it a problem if our own birth order has shaped who we are as adults and how we pare…
 
We sometimes feel nothing should be kept secret between us and our children, but that's not really true. We do need to talk often with our kids about the difference between inappropriate secrets (an adult asking them to keep something secret from their parents) and appropriate ones (the present we are hiding in the garage for Dad's birthday). Today…
 
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