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Carroll Worldwide

Carroll Worldwide

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Carroll Worldwide is Carroll County Maryland’s premiere weekly podcast hosted by local business owners and personalities. Carroll Worldwide features updates on current events, reports on local Facebook community forums spanning Westminster, Eldersburg, Sykesville and more with irreverent commentary and scorching hot takes (aka satire). Tune in using any podcast app you like if you want to a good-natured laugh about your community. Business sponsorships are available!
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The gang catches up on the time off. Dennis goes to Disneyworld. A guy in Westminster Community Online is distraught by Gandalf's sunglasses. A gentleman in Hampstead is looking for a new neighbor and has high standards for attractivenes. Randy just hopes the Burger King lesbians kissed. Don't make Sherri laugh too hard.…
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Carroll County has actual demons, and not just the management at one of the local McDonald’s. A lesson is learned in audacity, older women are hotter, and for the love of everything, please know what you want when you go through the drive thru! Also, we decide to stop bleeping cuss words and throw around the idea of taking the podcast to a live aud…
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The Golden Tractor Crank is back with Goat Rentals! Sherri regales us with a story of a horrible customer. Randy wants credit for not running over pedestrians, and unveils his "one bolt" theory about rollercoasters. Dennis is asked for his analysis of the big booty bitches. And what is going on in New Windsor???…
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This week the gang tackles a myriad Carroll of topics. Randy hates tweets, community group chats and the latest android update. Sherri gets decorating tips from a helpful patron. Dennis considers a new career as a Hallmark movie writer. Bonus: a deep dive into the great clock tower caper of 2023.
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International Womens Day is kicked off with indecent exposure in New Windsor. A new kind of stripper is hitting the poles in Vegas. A guy makes 5 women cry in CVS. Also, a business in Hampstead has been raked over the coals of social media. Is "MacDonald's" really "Closep"? And are we really ready for the gang's alter egos, Dennisn't, Randolph The …
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Dennis ruminates on the current state of Facebook and the times they are a changin'. Sherri is shot out of a cannon with local and national issues. Randy parties with his son's fraternity and ends up in the hospital. The gang actually finds a national social issue that does NOT divide us as a nation!…
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Dennis unwittingly helps Randy hatch a scheme to get widespread surveillance for the people, by the people. Sherri thinks Randy has lost his mind. A Taneytown neighbor puts up a stern warning about dog poop. A Westminter woman is screaming obscenities at passers by, and we bring back the beloved segment, "Sherri, Make It Cynical".…
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So, a Mcdonalds Karen spends way too much time chasing a happy meal. A road Karen tries to out a dangerous driver, but the post didn't pan out the way the original poster wanted. Vandalism rocks downtown Westminster, and Sherri is celebrated for Womens month! Dennis and Randy agree to pause being total chauvinists for the remainder of the month.…
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A local nail salon is having a little too much fun with womens' feet. Dennis finds a story about uncle dads that trumps Randy's redneck lineage. A dog decided to ruin Sherri's day, while she was on the way to the podcast. Sherri tells us of a local newspaper stealing scumbag who is caught stealing newspapers with the help of a Ring Video Camera. Ra…
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The gang decides that a disturbing image depicting children engaged in a lip-lock (made by the Concerned Parents of Carroll County) should be much more concerning. Concerning cameras, however, Big Randy remains the concerned Alpha Sigma of neighborhood tactical intelligence. Sherri is less concerned with people breaking into her house, while Dennis…
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The gang talks about what they did during their break. Randy does a spot on impression of Anthony Soprano Jr. Sherri brags about having no friends. And we uncover an Instacart grift that blows up into a biggest drama of 2022 on the Westminster Community Online. It's so bad that Dennis leaves the podcast early. Sherri proclaims the customer is not a…
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Join the gang as we bring you our annual Holiday episode. A timeless holiday classic, will the Bitch succeed in ruining Christmas for all the Westys down in Westnumbstern? Sit back with your cocoa in front of a roaring fire and enjoy our gift to you, completely uncensored and NSFW.
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Twas the Gary before Christmas And all through the house Not a wall was left standing Not even this louse The drywall was hung With a belch and a swear No MHIC either He just doesn't care The children were horrified hiding in their bed The reviews of his work Oh, what they read Passed out at the library A filthy redneck We' re calling our lawyer Ju…
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This episode sponsored by Island Green Family Fun Center! Randy recounts the Sykesville Craft Beer Festival and smashes some craft brews and some false information. Dennis admits to liking a taboo drink once in a while. The gang gets hot and heavy over using other people's trash cans, panties left at a BBQ joint, and a couch for sale which includes…
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Carroll Worldwide celebrates their 100th episode with special guests: Dennis' dog, Trash Panda, The Groundhog That Got Shot By The Sherrif A Few Years Ago, and our very special honored and world renown guest: THE Harper Smythe! And of course we cover local topics, like kids vandalizing local property, and people crying over a local festival that ha…
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Randy is in Facebook jail and now might get cancelled for cultural appropriation. Sherri showcases an amazing find on a local yardsale group. Dennis ruminates on putting trashing up people's trash with trash. We cover Westnubsterm's Cow County's Best winners! A curious job listing is creeping everyone out. And....did someone Tik Tok after causing a…
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Our most fired-up episode ever! Sherri discusses a person who literally called the police because she found a book with sexual content in a high school library. (Will she call the cops on The Internet, also?). A new home rental is showcased on CWW-QVC, Randy is still obsessed with Carroll County geospatial intelligence. Dennis digs deep into why on…
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Carroll County hates kids so much that parents are beating up children at a local football game. We continue to unravel Sherri's scandalous love life. A Violin scammer is ravaging the strip malls of Westminster. Someone is selling a box of vintage Playboys, but sucks at negotiation. What more do you need? Oh, aside from another glorious Top 10?…
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A woman posts in The Eldersburg Online Community group, about seeing a bear, and get bullied. A very overweight man robs someone in a parking lot and then....runs? A man robs a local church at knifepoint, and "unrelated", our least favorite unlicensed contractor is ripping off more people. And BONUS: Does Sherri have a new romantic prospect? This o…
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Dennis dismisses "Westy" as the nickname for Westminster. Randy reads a whole article and transcends the cognitive dissonant. Sherri has some good advice for those upset about school masks. The gang reviews a list of the only acceptable restaurants in Eldersburg, as well as a new crop of horrifying grocery store names.…
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Our guest, former Westminster City Mayor Joe Dominick shares his thoughts on his time as mayor, local politics, Facebook recommendations, and of course, new restaurant openings. What is "MILF Mountain"? Perhaps Dennis can explain. Randy insults a 5 year old Child, and Sherri gives us the top 10 reasons Joe didn't run for a second term.…
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Special Guest Graham Dodge from MAGIC tells us all about the Autonomous Corridor, Good Gaming Fest and other great technical things coming to Westminster. Sherri recaps PRIDE fest. Randy tells a story about a misogynistic dead beat dad unicorn. Dennis is accused and does accuse of someone in the room being Harper Smythe!…
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The gang discusses post apocalyptic future at the landfill. The future former Mayor Joe tools the Westminster Online Communities. More is revealed about Randy's Uncle Dad as this white trash mystery unfolds. Dennis ponders drive-thrus, and Sherri hits us hard with a fresh top 10. Don't forget to support "Big Business Saturday" in Westnubsterm!…
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Sherri dissects a local Italian restaurant trash war. Dennis introduces us old people to Top Shot, after someone was shooting their mouth off in Taneytown. Randy shocks everyone with a surprise episode of "Judge Dennis" which ignites possible the fight of the century. Sherri's Top 10 collates Cancel Culture currently collecting in Carroll County.…
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We catch up with the gang, as Dennis talks of his Wall St Revolution, Sherri delves into online dating, and Randy fixes his gut, and Sherri BANS HIM FROM BIRDIES CAFE FOR LIFE!! Also, in Westminster, a car ends up in the 97N Pond, and did someone pull a switcheroo at McDonalds? Or was it all just a lie?…
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